Brian Wilcox. 'A Way Across ~ Androscoggin River Series ~ no. 20'
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To say "Where is God leading me?" is to say "To where is my heart going before me?"
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An aged pilgrim was walking to the Himalayan Mountains in the bitter cold of winter, when it started raining. An innkeeper said to him, "How will you ever get there in this kind of weather, my good man?" The pilgrim answered cheerfully, "My heart got there first, so it's easy for the rest of me to follow."
*Anthony de Mello. Taking Flight.
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We might pray for divine guidance as to where we are to go or to a good place to go among varied options. Possibly better is for us to pray for Spirit to take our heart to that somewhere before we go. Then we are already there, as much or more so than where our body remains. Hence, when we leave in that direction bodily, we are simply moving in the direction of the heart. For when we say "heart," we speak of that-of-God-in-us not located in time and space, so can be in more than one place and time.
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In my early twenties, I left Florida, with my then-spouse, to explore two cities and seminaries. We both had just graduated from college, we both planned to serve in church ministry. We would see each seminary and city, then decide on which to move to. One seminary was in New Orleans, Lousiana, one in Ft. Worth, Texas. Driving from Florida the 14-hour drive westward along I-10, we went, first, to New Orleans, and we went, last, to New Orleans.
Soon after arriving and viewing the New Orleans campus, we were in a guest room. We looked at each other, our hearts were in sync, our agreeing with no doubt this was to be home. We lived on campus there the following seven years.
Once our hearts united to go in the direction of the two seminaries, our hearts, each of the one heart of Grace, went before us, so confirming where home would be when we got there. I know this may sound wierd, our heart going before, but what is linear to us is not linear in the spirit-of-Things. In fact, in the oneness-of-All there is no space or time. When we pray "Your Will be done," we have stepped into timelessness, placelessness, in Life, not the linear events we call life. We are, then, in a different terrain than our usual way of relating with time and space, and Spirit.
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Considering returning to Hospice work, a nearby hospice was seeking to hire a chaplain. I got in my truck and drove over on a Sunday afternoon, to sense what would arise in me. Not once on the way or when there was any sense of my heart being there or wanting to be there, of my belonging there. This, also, though initially I had been enthused, when I read of the job openning. I got in my truck, after walking the grounds and praying, sensing no at-homeness, and dropped the idea of applying for the job.
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Someone could feel that he or she is not led by Divine guidance to go anywhere, but remain where he or she is. Yet, "to go" does not mean only outer geography, it can point to a move in inner geography. You may live at the same place, work at the same place and still be led within to take a long, long journey.
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Hence, we can stop and offer a simple prayer, "Beloved, take my heart to where I am to go, so the rest of me might easily follow."
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